In hindsight, Loki shouldn't have been surprised--but he was, so it took him a second before he's hugging back. Leaning into it, savoring the affection and holding it close. Had he ever truly had a 'real' friend? Would Dani still want to be his friend when it was all revealed?
Part of him wanted to stay as Einar forever now...
Does he make you feel held? Does he make you feel home?
Yes. Yes he does, and Dani finds herself clinging more tightly to her friend, tears rolling slowly down her cheeks without Dani entirely realizing it. "I think wherever you are could feel like home," she admits, quietly.
"You have time to find that out." He said quietly, murmured against her hair as he continued to hold her. Not caring about the crying, just letting her cling. Trying to soothe, although it was not Loki's strongpoint. "When you're ready, I'll help you finish settling in."
He sighed, and Loki internally took it as a sign of how he'd changed. "I...should tell you something too."
His heart felt lighter and heavier with her words, and Loki wanted to smile--but couldn't. Not that he wasn't glad she was happy--she deserved it in his mind. One hand came up to gently brush the tears away.
...Courage. Not something he was generally known for. But--he'd taken Thor's conversation in the elevator on Sakaar more to heart than his brother knew. Loki hated being predictable, and perhaps it was time to try new things.
"I....I've been in hiding. And hiding who I am, while among the Harga. It's the only thing I've lied about. Who I am really."
Dani bites her lip, reaching out to touch his hand lightly. "I'm sorry you felt like you had to hide. To lie about who you are. But it's okay we can talk about it. You -- you can tell me who you are, because you're still my friend. You still helped me, and you didn't have to do that.
This felt like one of the hardest things--when it should've been so simple. Loki sighed. "Einar means, roughly, lone warrior. I've...had a lot to think about. But my actual name, who I am..."
It would come out, sooner or later--better it come out while he had control, right?
There was a shimmer of green over him, returning Loki to how he normally looked. The same clothes, the same eyes--but with black hair now and no scruff. "I am Loki, of Asgard." But it was not his usual boisterous and proud declaration. More quiet, personal--and vulnerable.
She knows those eyes, at least. And that voice is still Einar's. No -- not Einar. Loki. Still, she gasps when a shimmer of green enfolds him and standing there is Loki in his true form.
She's not angry. Not really. Hurt, a little, that he felt he had to hide from her this long, but she can try to understand. "It's okay," she says again, softly. "It's okay. You're still my friend." She reaches up to brush her fingers against his cheek, the sharp line of his jaw. "It's still you."
"Is it really okay?" Loki asked, reaching up to touch her hand and hold it. "I've done horrible things before Dani, for all that I've also suffered horribly too."
"I've done horrible things, too. And you've forgiven me for them." She thinks of Christian, of what she was asked to do as May Queen and she rests her cheek against Loki's chest again, taking deep breaths like he'd helped her do on the ship.
"We can forgive each other. We can still be friends. Right?"
"I very much want to be. I've never had a genuine friend before." Loki moved to lean his chin on top of her head, sliding an arm around her in a hug. "I would've stayed Einar for many many years, to be your friend."
"But you don't have to be. You can just be you, with me. You can always just be you. You said -- " Dani sighs and lets him hold her, leaning into the embrace. "You said that the only thing you lied about was your name. That everything else was -- was you. Was true. That means I still know you. Right?"
"There's...a lot to me. But since we've met, I have not been less than genuine around you. I saw the Hårga manipulating you, and all you were going through. You were...kind to me, so I decided I would not add to all you were going through."
"Then I still know you," she repeats, reassuring the both of them. "And I still want to know you. You're still my friend, and that isn't going to change. I promise. Okay?"
She steps back a little to be able to look at Loki, properly. "I still care about you."
"It is a gift you give me, Dani. One that is precious and I shall try to value properly." With a small smile, and Loki reached up to brush his fingers against her cheek. "The last few years have been...difficult, especially the last year. I'm not who I was when I invaded New York with an eye to conquering Midgard. I can not promise I am a 'good' man by any means, but I can promise I will do my best to not betray your gift." The smile turned sad. "I hope to be successful, I've betrayed everyone else who ever gave me a chance." Sometimes multiple times.
"I -- " Dani pulls her hand away to cover her mouth, shaking her head in disbelief. Not at Loki, and what he's saying, but at herself. Her own actions. "I killed Christian. I made that decision. I watched him burn, knowing he could feel everything, I let that happen.
I betrayed him. But I won't betray you. And I don't believe you'll betray me, either."
"More proof, that I am not a good man. I believe he deserved it. Even with the manipulation of the Hårga, he...had choices. He could've made different ones, and I would think marginally more of him." Loki's voice was cutting, cold. "I do not believe you betrayed him, but from what you've told me--that he betrayed you first."
"No, he -- Christian was -- " She scrubs her hands over her face, trying to take a deep breath. "We were together for four years, and of course we had our fights and our problems, but -- we -- we worked." Though even as she says it, her brow furrows like she doesn't quite believe it. "We made it work.
But I don't want to talk about Christian, not now. Not when I'm about to start a new life with -- with you."
"You can do what you want, Dani." Loki reassured quietly, reaching up to hold her hands. Trying to reassure. It wasn't as if he couldn't fake it--he'd faked affection before many times. It was new though, with Dani, in that he meant it. "No one here will pressure you. We're all trying to start over."
She takes a deep breath, turning her hands to twine her fingers with Loki's. Not quite able to look up at him. Afraid, maybe, of what she'd see in those bluegreen eyes. "Pelle asked my something about -- but I never really understood it until I spent time with you. He asked me if I felt held by him. If he made me feel home.
And you -- Loki, I do. I feel... held. By you. I feel like where you are is home."
It scared him--the strength of his reaction to that--to her words. Mostly because for once, the emotions were all genuine--he cared about her. She was his friend--his first real one that was all his.
For once his silver-tongue deserted him, as he took some time to think. Before leaning forwards. Kissing her forehead softly, and speaking quietly against it. "You will always have a home with me Dani. I swear by the Norn's weavings and the Wyrd."
"I won't pretend like I know exactly what that means." She laughs, self-consciously, but reaches up to touch his cheek again. "But I like it. I like the way it makes me feel when you say it."
"It is an oath. And I am not one who swears oaths lightly." Voice low, mouth still against her forehead. He wouldn't deny he was scared--but Loki also felt...good. Making it, and being with her. It was comforting, and strange in a good way, to have a real friend.
"I'll teach you anything you wish to know about our cultures, but only if you want to learn. For now though, we should consider sleep. Or food."
"I'm probably not going to be able to sleep for a while. Not after everything that's happened today. I should probably eat something, though. Just -- " With her free hand, she reaches out to take Loki's again.
"Of course." Said to reassure her, even while squeezing her hand. "Do you want to go find others we can eat with, or should I get food brought here?" It was with an eye to her comfort level--the last few months since Sakaar had changed Loki in some ways. It felt...safe, for him to show these softer sides to Dani.
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Part of him wanted to stay as Einar forever now...
"...I'm grateful for you, Dani. Thank you."
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Yes. Yes he does, and Dani finds herself clinging more tightly to her friend, tears rolling slowly down her cheeks without Dani entirely realizing it. "I think wherever you are could feel like home," she admits, quietly.
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He sighed, and Loki internally took it as a sign of how he'd changed. "I...should tell you something too."
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What do you need to tell me?"
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...Courage. Not something he was generally known for. But--he'd taken Thor's conversation in the elevator on Sakaar more to heart than his brother knew. Loki hated being predictable, and perhaps it was time to try new things.
"I....I've been in hiding. And hiding who I am, while among the Harga. It's the only thing I've lied about. Who I am really."
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So it's okay. It's okay, just. Tell me now."
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It would come out, sooner or later--better it come out while he had control, right?
There was a shimmer of green over him, returning Loki to how he normally looked. The same clothes, the same eyes--but with black hair now and no scruff. "I am Loki, of Asgard." But it was not his usual boisterous and proud declaration. More quiet, personal--and vulnerable.
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She's not angry. Not really. Hurt, a little, that he felt he had to hide from her this long, but she can try to understand. "It's okay," she says again, softly. "It's okay. You're still my friend." She reaches up to brush her fingers against his cheek, the sharp line of his jaw. "It's still you."
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"We can forgive each other. We can still be friends. Right?"
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She steps back a little to be able to look at Loki, properly. "I still care about you."
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I betrayed him. But I won't betray you. And I don't believe you'll betray me, either."
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But I don't want to talk about Christian, not now. Not when I'm about to start a new life with -- with you."
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She takes a deep breath, turning her hands to twine her fingers with Loki's. Not quite able to look up at him. Afraid, maybe, of what she'd see in those bluegreen eyes. "Pelle asked my something about -- but I never really understood it until I spent time with you. He asked me if I felt held by him. If he made me feel home.
And you -- Loki, I do. I feel... held. By you. I feel like where you are is home."
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For once his silver-tongue deserted him, as he took some time to think. Before leaning forwards. Kissing her forehead softly, and speaking quietly against it. "You will always have a home with me Dani. I swear by the Norn's weavings and the Wyrd."
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"I'll teach you anything you wish to know about our cultures, but only if you want to learn. For now though, we should consider sleep. Or food."
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"Stay with me?"
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